French Music, Abstractions And Coffee
French music, Edith Piaf, permeating the mood of my bedroom
I sit in front of my big black cup of black coffee watching
The painterly grey foam produced from my stirring
Swirling at the surface, moving towards the sides,
The mottled blackness slowly dissipating.
The storm over the water finally gone
Now only a calm level of caffeine
Stares back at me.
6.27.2002
6.17.2002
5.15.2002
Phosphorescent Dreams
She rose from her sodden dreams brilliant as the moonlight,
Phosphorescence emanating encompassing the room
Subtle and fragile as the light of enlightment would
Appear to me at night.
Tonight her beauty appears before my fire
Consumes my will, my mind and lets them go with ease
And lets me go of all uncertainties
Thought of the day before
She came to me.
She rose from her sodden dreams brilliant as the moonlight,
Phosphorescence emanating encompassing the room
Subtle and fragile as the light of enlightment would
Appear to me at night.
Tonight her beauty appears before my fire
Consumes my will, my mind and lets them go with ease
And lets me go of all uncertainties
Thought of the day before
She came to me.
4.25.2002
Haikus (Not Haikus)
1
I sat at the beach
To watch the sun setting down
But rain came and poured.
2
The world is a stage
On which we play our roles
So perfectly realistic.
3
Trapped inside this room
I'm reduced to wall-paper
Wanting to peel off.
4
Hear butterflies' wings
Flap against each other
And sail through the wind.
5
See the waves crashing
Against the hot sandy shore
And coolness rise.
6
The falling leaves drift
Past me red and gold and
Brown crisp like my soul.
7
Blueness rising up
Makes me creatively free
To explore this life.
8
Warmness seeping through
My skin into the depths of my
My body cooking.
9
Lounging in this couch
In this paradoxical
Library, I write.
10
Warm wind whispers we
Must make moments in the now
Lest we 'll live backwards.
1
I sat at the beach
To watch the sun setting down
But rain came and poured.
2
The world is a stage
On which we play our roles
So perfectly realistic.
3
Trapped inside this room
I'm reduced to wall-paper
Wanting to peel off.
4
Hear butterflies' wings
Flap against each other
And sail through the wind.
5
See the waves crashing
Against the hot sandy shore
And coolness rise.
6
The falling leaves drift
Past me red and gold and
Brown crisp like my soul.
7
Blueness rising up
Makes me creatively free
To explore this life.
8
Warmness seeping through
My skin into the depths of my
My body cooking.
9
Lounging in this couch
In this paradoxical
Library, I write.
10
Warm wind whispers we
Must make moments in the now
Lest we 'll live backwards.
4.23.2002
Shut Eyes
The mind's eye sees what you physically fail to see.
The wanting vision, envious of the mind tricks you into thinking it isn't real.
Around you you feel spirits move
Seeking retribution, redeclaration of worth.
They appear a creation of unreality-
Reality bent to suit the resentment of the eyes.
To unbent, recognize the power of the mind.
The mind's eye sees what you physically fail to see.
The wanting vision, envious of the mind tricks you into thinking it isn't real.
Around you you feel spirits move
Seeking retribution, redeclaration of worth.
They appear a creation of unreality-
Reality bent to suit the resentment of the eyes.
To unbent, recognize the power of the mind.
For Homer
Upon finishing The Human Comedy by William Saroyan
You were the first to learn that your brother had been another casualty of the war.
You were supposed to deliver the telegram to your own family.
You did not know what to do, your father died only a couple of years back
And now your brother!
You were angry and you had the right to.
You thought of your mother, your sister, your brother's fiancee,
Your little brother Ulysses, who is only four years old.
How could you have brought them this notice of death?
But they already knew.
They have felt it in their bones, another one of them gone.
They've obediently accepted it, embraced it
Like it was God Himself.
They've recognized this relinquishment as a part of His greater plans.
And who are they to protest?
You on the other hand made it no sense.
Only fourteen and yet you've experienced more loss than most adults.
You asked, Why should I learn of war, pain, death?
Why should these happen to me, to my family, to Ithaca?
I ask you now, Why should it not?
Upon finishing The Human Comedy by William Saroyan
You were the first to learn that your brother had been another casualty of the war.
You were supposed to deliver the telegram to your own family.
You did not know what to do, your father died only a couple of years back
And now your brother!
You were angry and you had the right to.
You thought of your mother, your sister, your brother's fiancee,
Your little brother Ulysses, who is only four years old.
How could you have brought them this notice of death?
But they already knew.
They have felt it in their bones, another one of them gone.
They've obediently accepted it, embraced it
Like it was God Himself.
They've recognized this relinquishment as a part of His greater plans.
And who are they to protest?
You on the other hand made it no sense.
Only fourteen and yet you've experienced more loss than most adults.
You asked, Why should I learn of war, pain, death?
Why should these happen to me, to my family, to Ithaca?
I ask you now, Why should it not?
Grocery Lists
Pen on paper, mind on creating list of what is lacking
In the cupboard. You'll always find cans of soups
And bottles of spices, except for that one
That perpetually manages to be missing
When you need it. Write down that one.
Go to the grocer's, want to go in and get out as fast
As you can. People, cans, boxes, bottles, freezers, shelves,
Shopping carts stand in your way. Hastily you grab
The items on your list, stand in the checkout line,
Wait for your turn.
Hand on stirrer, eyes on list of ingredients left to add
And settle on the name of that elusive spice you fear is not
In the cupboard. Again. And yes, fear confirmed
As you scavenge the fat but wanting cupboard.
You remember you neglected to look at the backside
Of your list the last time you went to the grocer's.
Pen on paper, mind on creating list of what is lacking
In the cupboard. You'll always find cans of soups
And bottles of spices, except for that one
That perpetually manages to be missing
When you need it. Write down that one.
Go to the grocer's, want to go in and get out as fast
As you can. People, cans, boxes, bottles, freezers, shelves,
Shopping carts stand in your way. Hastily you grab
The items on your list, stand in the checkout line,
Wait for your turn.
Hand on stirrer, eyes on list of ingredients left to add
And settle on the name of that elusive spice you fear is not
In the cupboard. Again. And yes, fear confirmed
As you scavenge the fat but wanting cupboard.
You remember you neglected to look at the backside
Of your list the last time you went to the grocer's.
4.16.2002
Un-longing
I want to seek shelter from this cold in your arms
But the warmth of you will only leave me colder when all is through.
I want to fill your heart into my cavity
But the beating will only be replaced by a resonating aching
After you've gone back to where you were before we started all of this supposed madness.
I can't settle for a little piece of you,
For only a little time spent each day with you.
I want to search for you
But I can't let myself go through another arduous wait
Only to realize it's really not you I've fallen into
But another ominous bait.
I want to seek shelter from this cold in your arms
But the warmth of you will only leave me colder when all is through.
I want to fill your heart into my cavity
But the beating will only be replaced by a resonating aching
After you've gone back to where you were before we started all of this supposed madness.
I can't settle for a little piece of you,
For only a little time spent each day with you.
I want to search for you
But I can't let myself go through another arduous wait
Only to realize it's really not you I've fallen into
But another ominous bait.
Prayer To The Great Artist
The wind The sky The soil
I live and prosper
Within these realms together
With my fathers, my brothers
The leaves The clouds The seeds
I interact with and use
Their quiet wisdom to come up with these
The words The thoughts The poems
They offer to me greater depths than I have known
The birds The rain The worms
I pray you'll come and use these forms
To come to me
And penetrate my thoughts.
The wind The sky The soil
I live and prosper
Within these realms together
With my fathers, my brothers
The leaves The clouds The seeds
I interact with and use
Their quiet wisdom to come up with these
The words The thoughts The poems
They offer to me greater depths than I have known
The birds The rain The worms
I pray you'll come and use these forms
To come to me
And penetrate my thoughts.
Plea For A Fast Salvation
Hard times and I need a hand to hold in mine,
Find a liberation. A storm before the calm
I believe it is or else if this would go on like this,
I wouldn't want to be me.
I need to believe that there'll be an end
To all the misery I am enduring;
A justification or perfect retribution
That'll lift me from the dark pit of unchanging ways
That I am struggling in.
The dark, it makes the coming of the light sweet
But not if you've been in the dark for so long.
The light instead of letting you see what you failed to see before,
Blinds you, plunging you black into darkness once more.
Hard times and I need a hand to hold in mine,
Find a liberation. A storm before the calm
I believe it is or else if this would go on like this,
I wouldn't want to be me.
I need to believe that there'll be an end
To all the misery I am enduring;
A justification or perfect retribution
That'll lift me from the dark pit of unchanging ways
That I am struggling in.
The dark, it makes the coming of the light sweet
But not if you've been in the dark for so long.
The light instead of letting you see what you failed to see before,
Blinds you, plunging you black into darkness once more.
4.11.2002
A Mistake
Not enough I say,
I want too much to be comfortable in my own skin.
But what good will this bring
When it just makes want to sit and sing
In the corner, the dark of the room,
The room that I want to be the center of,
Make everyone gravitate to my field
To remove this shield
I hold up to prevent a mistake
I would choose to take
Once I be granted the opportunity
To leave this place
For good.
Not enough I say,
I want too much to be comfortable in my own skin.
But what good will this bring
When it just makes want to sit and sing
In the corner, the dark of the room,
The room that I want to be the center of,
Make everyone gravitate to my field
To remove this shield
I hold up to prevent a mistake
I would choose to take
Once I be granted the opportunity
To leave this place
For good.
4.08.2002
Monotony
The things I suppose I had wanted
Are all just things that didn't really serve any purpose except be taken for granted.
The words I used to write and search for
Are all merely just letters put together now that I've yearned for something more.
The life I live lacks the fullness I once thought it had,
When I thought I was satiated.
Guess everything just seems less and less than it really is worth
After a while of having them, using them, and then letting yourself get bored.
The things I suppose I had wanted
Are all just things that didn't really serve any purpose except be taken for granted.
The words I used to write and search for
Are all merely just letters put together now that I've yearned for something more.
The life I live lacks the fullness I once thought it had,
When I thought I was satiated.
Guess everything just seems less and less than it really is worth
After a while of having them, using them, and then letting yourself get bored.
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